[ All of Loren's most successful conversations begin this way, and Joshua is not in for a train wreck at all. Loren leaned forward onto the table, perching his chin on his left hand and trying to look very sincere. It involved a conspicuous amount of eye contact and only minimal pouting. ]
I don't want us to have one of those friendships where we only see each other when one of us needs something.
[ This is the part that Loren is sincere about. He doesn't have a lot of people he can talk to about this side of his life, and fewer that understand it without getting creeped out or annoyed. Or like. More annoyed than Josh is likely to be. ]
So that's why I got you this, um, little cactus. And also brunch.
[ Loren smiles and presents the tiny plant in an appropriately tiny flowerpot. Look. He painted skulls on it and tied a little lavender ribbon around it, too. Please like it. Please say he did a good job.
( So it's not that Josh is naive exactly, he's well versed enough in this type of conversation that he expects a 'but' coming fairly soon. It's just that he also really likes gifts, and this one is particularly adorable. )
...This is pretty good.
( He takes the pot carefully in his hands, holding it up and inspecting the plant closely. Just as cute up close, no surprises there. The little ribbon is a particularly good touch, and he's trying not to smile as he sets the pot back down on the bench between them.
Josh has never been one for poker faces, clearly. He's impressed. It definitely shows. )
Okay, we can have one of those friendships. You definitely don't need anything right now, right? Just a lovely brunch with me, you, and thise little buddy.
[ Loren tries not to look too pleased about Josh's approval, or too extremely proud of himself. Even though he spent far too long working on this instead of doing his ethics homework. Anything for the aesthetic, to be honest.
And to have one fucking thing that isn't dead and therefore cannot make demands. ]
Yeah, yes, totally. Right now it's just brunch.
[ As if to prove his point, he makes a show of stabbing some eggs and taking a larger bite than is strictly necessary. This was a mistake, as it takes too long to swallow and now he has to talk with his mouth kind of full. And he also has to figure out how to make this not sound like a bribe? ]
And then... after brunch... maybe you can Good Cop/Bad Cop this poltergeist with me...
( It absolutely still sounds like a bribe. Luckily Josh is feeling benevolent, or maybe gifts and flattery really are that effective, because he just smiles a little half smile and tears the crust off of his toast. And arranges them in a weird little pattern across the edge of his plate too, but that's not particularly important. )
Two totally unrelated events, right? You just happened to feel like giving me this cute little plant– ( Josh is actually really worried that he's going to kill it. Alive things tend not to last around his apartment when they're fragile.
He'll have to work something out. ) I think I might be able to make some time. What's the problem?
[ Well... they are unrelated in that yeah, he did just feel like giving Josh a cute plant. It got a smile out of him so mission accomplished. They are very much related in that both were ploys to get Joshua to spend time with him, and in his defense it was working. He returns a half smile and kind of forgets about the eggs.
Luckily, Loren was saved from answering as much when Josh changed the subject. Right. He also does actually need help. Clearing his throat, Loren takes his phone out and opens a video. ]
Yeah so. This happened at the University. Normally, I don't give a shit about tiny disturbances. It's like... pretend you've ever had a cat before and fuck off, right? But this is in the chem lab.
[ On the video a cabinet opened and then bottles started crashing to the ground one at a time until - Loren mimed an explosion with his hand as the screen lit up. ]
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no subject
[ All of Loren's most successful conversations begin this way, and Joshua is not in for a train wreck at all. Loren leaned forward onto the table, perching his chin on his left hand and trying to look very sincere. It involved a conspicuous amount of eye contact and only minimal pouting. ]
I don't want us to have one of those friendships where we only see each other when one of us needs something.
[ This is the part that Loren is sincere about. He doesn't have a lot of people he can talk to about this side of his life, and fewer that understand it without getting creeped out or annoyed. Or like. More annoyed than Josh is likely to be. ]
So that's why I got you this, um, little cactus. And also brunch.
[ Loren smiles and presents the tiny plant in an appropriately tiny flowerpot. Look. He painted skulls on it and tied a little lavender ribbon around it, too. Please like it. Please say he did a good job.
Also he absolutely does need something. ]
no subject
...This is pretty good.
( He takes the pot carefully in his hands, holding it up and inspecting the plant closely. Just as cute up close, no surprises there. The little ribbon is a particularly good touch, and he's trying not to smile as he sets the pot back down on the bench between them.
Josh has never been one for poker faces, clearly. He's impressed. It definitely shows. )
Okay, we can have one of those friendships. You definitely don't need anything right now, right? Just a lovely brunch with me, you, and thise little buddy.
( He's so onto you Loren. )
no subject
And to have one fucking thing that isn't dead and therefore cannot make demands. ]
Yeah, yes, totally. Right now it's just brunch.
[ As if to prove his point, he makes a show of stabbing some eggs and taking a larger bite than is strictly necessary. This was a mistake, as it takes too long to swallow and now he has to talk with his mouth kind of full. And he also has to figure out how to make this not sound like a bribe? ]
And then... after brunch... maybe you can Good Cop/Bad Cop this poltergeist with me...
no subject
Two totally unrelated events, right? You just happened to feel like giving me this cute little plant– ( Josh is actually really worried that he's going to kill it. Alive things tend not to last around his apartment when they're fragile.
He'll have to work something out. ) I think I might be able to make some time. What's the problem?
no subject
Luckily, Loren was saved from answering as much when Josh changed the subject. Right. He also does actually need help. Clearing his throat, Loren takes his phone out and opens a video. ]
Yeah so. This happened at the University. Normally, I don't give a shit about tiny disturbances. It's like... pretend you've ever had a cat before and fuck off, right? But this is in the chem lab.
[ On the video a cabinet opened and then bottles started crashing to the ground one at a time until - Loren mimed an explosion with his hand as the screen lit up. ]
What do you think?